Samstag, November 12, 2005
Beerdigungs
I am not really sure if it is 'right' to post this, but since I am keeping a record of my time here I thought I would. The title of this post, 'Beerdigungs,' means funeral. (Sorry to all of you who saw 'beer' and thought this would be funny...)
Lars' father, Juergen, had cancer for about one year. Recently, he took a turn for the worst and last Sunday he died. Yesterday, Friday, was his funeral. Though I had never met Lars' dad I wanted to go. I really like Lars and his mom, and I do feel like I am a part of this family. Lars told me to wear something normal--his dad didn't want anyone to wear black or fancy mourning clothes. He wanted it to be casual. He also did not want serious/sad music to be played but picked some old favorites by Fats Domino.
I cried at this man's funeral. I was kind of embarrassed because I had never met him--it just felt so awkward to be crying. I just kept thinking about Lars and about his mom, who I really like. I sat behind Lars' mom and brother at the service, and that was... awful.
The family hired a professional speaker because his dad was not religious. She was really good, even though I could only understand a little of it. What choked me up--besides watching Lars' mom try to stay composed--was the Fats Domino music interspersed in the ceremony. Music was a favorite hobby of Lars' dad, a very important part of his life.
The speaker talked about Lars' dad's character, his experiences growing up, and when he met Lars' mom. Then they played Blueberry Hill, which ends, 'Tho' we're apart, you're part of me still/For you were my thrill on blueberry hill.' The speaker then went on to talk about Karin & Juergen starting a family and having children. She talked about their family life and we all stood for a moment of silence.
Then, they played Fats Domino's Walking to New Orleans and the pallbearers came in. These men were all older and looked quite Dickensian--they had the top hats and everything. All the attendees followed them out while the music played on...
This time I'm walking to New Orleans
I'm walking to New Orleans
I'm walking to New Orleans
I'm gonna need two pairs of shes
when I get through walking me blues
when I get back to N. O.
I've got my suitcase in my hand
now ain't that a shame.
I'm leaving here today
yes
I'm going back home to stay.
Yes
I'm walking to N. O.
You used to be my honey
till you spent all my money.
No use for you to cry
I see you buy and buy
'cause I`m walking to n. O.
I've got no time for talking.
I've got to keep on walking.
N. O. is my home
that's the reason while I'm gone
yes
I`m walking to N. O.
I'm walking to N. O.
I'm walking to N. O.
Obviously, I bolded the parts that really choked me up.
I haven't been to many funerals in the U.S. so I am not familiar with all of our traditions. Here all the attendees watched them lower the coffin into the ground. Then, one person at a time went up, took a moment, and threw a flower on the coffin. Some of the older men bowed (that choked me up). Some of the men used this mini-shovel to throw dirt on the coffin... It was really moving, the way they said good-bye.
Afterward we all walked to this local pub/restaurant. This is a tradition also. You are only supposed to have a simple meal of bread or plain cake. I sat with Ina's parents. It was actually fun to talk to them. Only Ina's dad can really speak English, so I asked her mom and stepmom if they understood the songs and Christa told me that she has such memories of the melody that it make her cry. Then they asked about American traditions and if this was similar. I told them that cremation is becoming more popular and then people get 'thrown around.' (I can really be poetic when I want to, huh? Gosh...) Siggy & Christa (dad and stepmom) told me that they want to be cremated but put in urns. So, yeah. We also compared German and American table manners. We eat differently--they keep their knives in their hands when they eat, using the fork in their left, where in America we cut, put the knife down, and switch the fork over. Also, they keep their hands on the table when they eat--not elbows, just hands. It was interesting for me the first time I noticed Henrik being chided and dinner for not having his hands on the table. (Cause I could remember being told to get my hands off the table!)
As everyone was leaving, Lars' mom turned to me and just gave me this huuuge hug. (choked up, again) The beerdigungs was a sad, slightly awkward, and at times fun/funny experience. I am glad that I went--well, glad is the wrong word, but I think you get my meaning.
After that, I just wanted to curl up with hot chocolate and be alone. Lars & Ina went out to get their mind off things so I popped in the most melancholy DVD I could find and graded papers. (Well, really just edited some in-class writing.) Unfortunately, my choice of DVD was not the best. I decided to watch Autumn in New York, the riveting emotional rollercoaster starring Richard Gere and Winona Ryder. Suffice it to say it was so horrible that it made me laugh, but for some reason I couldn't look away. Don't you hate that? If you haven't seen it I am going to ruin it for you... (but you could still rent it anyway if you need a good laugh)
Basically, Winona croaks. But not before Richard Gere spends every ounce of effort he has locating a doctor to perform a risky heart surgery on her. He is assisted by his long-estranged daughter (apparently, he got some girl pregnant when he was kind of seeing Winona's mom but wanted to prove that he 'just wasn't that into her.') So this chick appears--who I assumed was as ex-girlfriend cause she was the same age (gross! why is that OK??) as Winona. She is pregnant and for some reason this makes her want to find the father who abandoned her. Luckily, she is a researcher, and to prove to her dad that the fact he missed her childhood is a forgivable offense, she uses her researching skills to find the only doctor who will perform the risky heart surgery.
The best part is when we find out Winona has croaked. The doctor, flown in by helicopter when Winona collapses for like the 50th time, is walking toward the waiting room. He pulls his little doctor-head-covery-thingie off his head and chucks it at the ground. Oh no! The camera flashes to each one of Winona's friends-- ChunkyGirlfriend has tears in eyes, GayGuyFriend looks shocked (but like, 4th-grade-play shocked), Grandma almost keels over, and Richard Gere... Oh, it was awful.
The movie ends with Gere in a canoe with a young woman. All I could think was, 'Wow, he forgot about Winona quickly.' Oops again. It is his daughter, lounging sexily in the front of the canoe as Gere holds his new grandson. 'I can't believe I am here with my father... and my son.' I can't believe that this movie was in theaters. I have seen Lifetime movies better than this for the love... Gere, bravely attempting to be a man in front of his newborn grandson, looks away. Then... he sees a swan. He catches the swans eye, the swan kind of nods its head and then swims away. Oh Winona... you're still with me! you're just a swan! The whole thing really seemed like a play acted by middle schoolers and directed by someone who has spent the majority of their career focused on AferSchool Specials or something.
Seriously, if you want a good laugh See. This. Movie.
Now I'm done. All the freaking teenagers in our neighborhood are doing their nightly ritual of gathering around a car and pumping the music. Train of thought--gone.
More tomorrow, promise.
Lars' father, Juergen, had cancer for about one year. Recently, he took a turn for the worst and last Sunday he died. Yesterday, Friday, was his funeral. Though I had never met Lars' dad I wanted to go. I really like Lars and his mom, and I do feel like I am a part of this family. Lars told me to wear something normal--his dad didn't want anyone to wear black or fancy mourning clothes. He wanted it to be casual. He also did not want serious/sad music to be played but picked some old favorites by Fats Domino.
I cried at this man's funeral. I was kind of embarrassed because I had never met him--it just felt so awkward to be crying. I just kept thinking about Lars and about his mom, who I really like. I sat behind Lars' mom and brother at the service, and that was... awful.
The family hired a professional speaker because his dad was not religious. She was really good, even though I could only understand a little of it. What choked me up--besides watching Lars' mom try to stay composed--was the Fats Domino music interspersed in the ceremony. Music was a favorite hobby of Lars' dad, a very important part of his life.
The speaker talked about Lars' dad's character, his experiences growing up, and when he met Lars' mom. Then they played Blueberry Hill, which ends, 'Tho' we're apart, you're part of me still/For you were my thrill on blueberry hill.' The speaker then went on to talk about Karin & Juergen starting a family and having children. She talked about their family life and we all stood for a moment of silence.
Then, they played Fats Domino's Walking to New Orleans and the pallbearers came in. These men were all older and looked quite Dickensian--they had the top hats and everything. All the attendees followed them out while the music played on...
This time I'm walking to New Orleans
I'm walking to New Orleans
I'm walking to New Orleans
I'm gonna need two pairs of shes
when I get through walking me blues
when I get back to N. O.
I've got my suitcase in my hand
now ain't that a shame.
I'm leaving here today
yes
I'm going back home to stay.
Yes
I'm walking to N. O.
You used to be my honey
till you spent all my money.
No use for you to cry
I see you buy and buy
'cause I`m walking to n. O.
I've got no time for talking.
I've got to keep on walking.
N. O. is my home
that's the reason while I'm gone
yes
I`m walking to N. O.
I'm walking to N. O.
I'm walking to N. O.
Obviously, I bolded the parts that really choked me up.
I haven't been to many funerals in the U.S. so I am not familiar with all of our traditions. Here all the attendees watched them lower the coffin into the ground. Then, one person at a time went up, took a moment, and threw a flower on the coffin. Some of the older men bowed (that choked me up). Some of the men used this mini-shovel to throw dirt on the coffin... It was really moving, the way they said good-bye.
Afterward we all walked to this local pub/restaurant. This is a tradition also. You are only supposed to have a simple meal of bread or plain cake. I sat with Ina's parents. It was actually fun to talk to them. Only Ina's dad can really speak English, so I asked her mom and stepmom if they understood the songs and Christa told me that she has such memories of the melody that it make her cry. Then they asked about American traditions and if this was similar. I told them that cremation is becoming more popular and then people get 'thrown around.' (I can really be poetic when I want to, huh? Gosh...) Siggy & Christa (dad and stepmom) told me that they want to be cremated but put in urns. So, yeah. We also compared German and American table manners. We eat differently--they keep their knives in their hands when they eat, using the fork in their left, where in America we cut, put the knife down, and switch the fork over. Also, they keep their hands on the table when they eat--not elbows, just hands. It was interesting for me the first time I noticed Henrik being chided and dinner for not having his hands on the table. (Cause I could remember being told to get my hands off the table!)
As everyone was leaving, Lars' mom turned to me and just gave me this huuuge hug. (choked up, again) The beerdigungs was a sad, slightly awkward, and at times fun/funny experience. I am glad that I went--well, glad is the wrong word, but I think you get my meaning.
After that, I just wanted to curl up with hot chocolate and be alone. Lars & Ina went out to get their mind off things so I popped in the most melancholy DVD I could find and graded papers. (Well, really just edited some in-class writing.) Unfortunately, my choice of DVD was not the best. I decided to watch Autumn in New York, the riveting emotional rollercoaster starring Richard Gere and Winona Ryder. Suffice it to say it was so horrible that it made me laugh, but for some reason I couldn't look away. Don't you hate that? If you haven't seen it I am going to ruin it for you... (but you could still rent it anyway if you need a good laugh)
Basically, Winona croaks. But not before Richard Gere spends every ounce of effort he has locating a doctor to perform a risky heart surgery on her. He is assisted by his long-estranged daughter (apparently, he got some girl pregnant when he was kind of seeing Winona's mom but wanted to prove that he 'just wasn't that into her.') So this chick appears--who I assumed was as ex-girlfriend cause she was the same age (gross! why is that OK??) as Winona. She is pregnant and for some reason this makes her want to find the father who abandoned her. Luckily, she is a researcher, and to prove to her dad that the fact he missed her childhood is a forgivable offense, she uses her researching skills to find the only doctor who will perform the risky heart surgery.
The best part is when we find out Winona has croaked. The doctor, flown in by helicopter when Winona collapses for like the 50th time, is walking toward the waiting room. He pulls his little doctor-head-covery-thingie off his head and chucks it at the ground. Oh no! The camera flashes to each one of Winona's friends-- ChunkyGirlfriend has tears in eyes, GayGuyFriend looks shocked (but like, 4th-grade-play shocked), Grandma almost keels over, and Richard Gere... Oh, it was awful.
The movie ends with Gere in a canoe with a young woman. All I could think was, 'Wow, he forgot about Winona quickly.' Oops again. It is his daughter, lounging sexily in the front of the canoe as Gere holds his new grandson. 'I can't believe I am here with my father... and my son.' I can't believe that this movie was in theaters. I have seen Lifetime movies better than this for the love... Gere, bravely attempting to be a man in front of his newborn grandson, looks away. Then... he sees a swan. He catches the swans eye, the swan kind of nods its head and then swims away. Oh Winona... you're still with me! you're just a swan! The whole thing really seemed like a play acted by middle schoolers and directed by someone who has spent the majority of their career focused on AferSchool Specials or something.
Seriously, if you want a good laugh See. This. Movie.
Now I'm done. All the freaking teenagers in our neighborhood are doing their nightly ritual of gathering around a car and pumping the music. Train of thought--gone.
More tomorrow, promise.
# posted by Heather @ 9:22 PM 
